Salsa to become official condiment of America

By | March 27, 2017

Congressman Juan Cruz (D-California) has introduced a bill (H.R. 5738, “Make Salsa Great”) that would make salsa the official condiment of the United States.  In recent years, sales of salsa have begun to outpace sales of ketchup.  This trend is expected to become more pronounced as Hispanics grows as a percentage of the population.

“In the melting pot of American cuisine, salsa has become the condiment of choice.  Passing this legislation would honor our shared Mexican heritage.”

While the bill does has some support on both sides of the aisles, it faces stiff opposition among some caucuses in the House, and would almost certainly be filibustered in the Senate.

We were unable to reach President Donald Trump on the golf course, but Press Secretary Sean Spicer spoke on his behalf.

“We are building a wall for a reason.  Not only are illegal immigrants flooding into America by the millions, but Mexican culture is encroaching on our American way of life.  We already have Taco Tuesdays.  Now this aggressive attempt the legitimize the role of salsa.  What next – sopapilla Sundays?  I bleed red, white, and blue.”

Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) also weighed in on the issue.  “Clearly, congressman Cruz is in the pockets of not only the Mexican government, but  also the salsa lobby.  Government should not be in the business of choosing winners and losers.  We must focus on priorities, and that means common sense tax reform.”

Former Senator John Kerry (D-Massachusetts) went on the record to state “I stand with ketchup.”

In calendar year 2015, congressman Juan Cruz received $2.65 million in campaign contributions from companies engaged in the manufacture, sale, and distribution of salsa.  Juan Cruz previously made the news in 2014 when he set up a taco bar for his congressional staffers.  He was able to sidestep that controversy by installing a grill for hamburgers and hot dogs.

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